[Random Sex!]

listen...
pondering the 'then' of
my days...

i am
fond of
these fleeting passions...
fond and down-right-needy
of these fly-by-night releases;
these nameless sexual
fleeces...
...its been that way...
was good to me in
my youth...
was good to me walking
the length of life
looking good and chic; rocking
my lusts.

nostalgia steps in...

i was...
i was...(shakes head)...real...
fond of
those fleeting passions...
fond and down-right-needy
of those fly-by-night releases...
those nameless sexual
fleeces...
were honey from the rock to my tongue;
a proverbial loade gun that i
russian rouletted with;
no cares...
man...so whimsical and completely
brazen...
...should have saw me;
my eyes flashing rebellion and that
'i-dont-give-a-care' look or some other choice word
would have sufficed;
i moved...i'm
talkin' 'bout moooooooooooooovvvvvved and
gliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiided through my youth
smelling myself and knowing i was the lick...
from
bed to bed...no regard for the sacredness of
covenant and connection...
just in need for that
quick release...
that, primal; base, animalistic release
with
whomever whenever however...it was whatever.

i
found myself in lust
with the random faces, never defined and clear but
always hazy....
hazy and obscure features; but their intent was
loud and clear!
wanted that good hip rockin loving...or so i called it; so i thought;
wanted that
dr. feelgood-in-the-MURN-ting glazed sexin over my tired
limbs...quicken me sensually...
stimulate my senses....feed me nothing
but carnality until flesh runs
out of my ears...
out my pores...

reality writes the script...

tired...
tired and weary...
it wasn't cute...
not even; but appalling...
down-right silly and foolish...
...even tried to justify
this search for sex outside the bounds of
matrimony...took on the
nietzschean idea that 'God is Dead...'
no need to respect that sex should stay in the bounds
of marriage and not random encounters
all in the convoluted
name of 'LOVE...'
each time i said i could
sex anyone; NOT my mate...but anyone
i wasn't intertwined with
in marriage...
tired...chile....i was tired in my bones...my
DNA, weak and fatigued...
the perusal of sexual gratification
had drained me...drained me of seed, soundness, and soul...
tired soul...
tired of the lies....
the lies i told myself that society told me...
tired....
weary...
and still incomplete...


-selah






©2011 -SoJourner